tentang hari ini… some people called it graduation others wisuda or lulus2an. but i don’t bother that. all i know today is… unexpected. i was surprised that i was here today not watching but a part of it. untuk beberapa tahun terakhir saia membuang jauh khayalan tentang hari ini. i’m not sure i can be there but today i am.
for the last six or seven month i carry heartache, anger and shame for failing to do it that day. i won’t talk about graduation, i don’t dare dreaming to be there, i sealed my hope and myself. i’m making my self numb from everything about it except focus on finishing my paper. i shut myself from feeling even just a little bit of this fun. but today i taste it, i savour it.
saia kutip kata2 avril lavigne, “in this state of bliss you think you’re dreaming. but this is the happiness inside of your feeling. its so beautiful that i makes you wanna cry” yep itu menyimpulkan kejadian hari ini.
feeling ditched, left alone. feeling dumb, useless. feeling like a fool, a failure. i know exactly how it feel. there are times when i
just hate everyone, when i hate my parents, my friend and surely my docents. i’m sorry for how i act back then. there are times when i feel tired and just wanted everything to get done fast. then my docent says, “km pengen cepet tp asal2an, atau bagus tp agak lama. itu terserah km”
itu membuat saia berpikir. saia sudah buang banyak hal demi ini, konyol jika hasilnya seadanya. i know i can, well coz my docent keep remind me that i can. dari situ saia belajar menerima kenyataan. one thing for sure, my docent seems intentionally make finishing my paper hard later i realized again, she just want me to bring out the best in me. she did, thank you.
so untuk teman2 saya yg hari ini hanya turut berbahagia. know that, i know how you feel, i’ve been there. learn something from today, don’t stop fighting. if i can be here by carrying the burden and the pain like you then you can be here too.
saia kutip lagu-nya bondan prakoso, “angkatlah ke atas dagumu yg tertunduk layu, jangan menyerah, jangan mengalah. bangunkan, bangkitkan semangat juang mu hingga membara. yakinkan pastikan inilah puncak segalanya. berbanggalah karena kau adalah sang juara.”