Inez's Diary

#120410

senin pagi,, adik2 kelas saiagw lagi pada ribet uts. so pagi ini pasti hectic banget di kampus.. ahhh tenangnya masa-masa itu, saat saia hanya menjalani, doing by the rule tanpa diributkan masalah2 dan pilihan2. segala kepanikan dan keparnoan dulu just between me and my grade, sekarang…between me and my next step. step yang rasanya ga maju-maju, meskipun waktu ga pernah berbenti. so is this mean that i’m stag? or just slowly progress?

hufff… mencoba terus dan terus maju dan mengerjakan apa yang harus dikerjakan, revisi…bimbingan (?) revisi lagi dan seterusnya.. i kind of tired u know. ini apa karna saia yang lelet dan males revisi atau… haah saia ga mau nyebut nama atau siapapun lah. she said, “kamu ga boleh pundung” tapi apa daya… u make me anyway, by pending an appointment by make me wait. do you have an idea how am i feel sick of it?  Dear God…what the hell is wrong?

teringat keluhan c bebeb beberapa bulan lalu, mulai memahami bagaimana dia bisa kluar masuk rumah sakit, memahami kenapa dia mpet banget sama tanggal 13 maret, kenapa dia memaki-maki c mami yay, dan kenapa sampai dia ga tahan ketemu orang-orang.. well i feel it too beb, i understand. saia mengerti lelahnya, saia mengerti kesalnya and the truth is, there’s nothing we can do about it, its beyond our reach. we just have to accept that, right beb? embrace every pain till it goes away…i don’t know how long i can stand it, but i’m trying prolong it at least until june. saia harap semua selesai di juli bukan di agustus. dan setelah itu, i had to go away…far away, somewhere i can’t smell what i’ve been breathe all this years…

in the end, maybe this is the way i suppose to grow up.

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